I've been noticing a bit of dread as the day wore on... I was becoming ever more aware that I am approaching the zero hour and have crystal clarity on what was happening 365 days ago... in less than 45 minutes the clock will have rolled on his time of death and I will have survived my first year without him...

It makes me look hard at my life at how far I've come... how the kids have managed... how much our lives have changed yet remained very much the same... as hard as I think tonight might be, it is also a night to let go... I have to let go of the remaining anger and hurt that I have been harboring and just release it... tonight I have to reclaim the date and make it my own... this is about a rebirth for us all...

I know I have mentioned to some that I will be writing a book on this and had plans to do so after the one year mark... well, I have already started and have realized my purpose... God could not have given me this tragedy if He did not mean for me to do something positive with it... writing the book is therapeutic but I hope that it can also help others through times of tragedy and give them Hope... that's what life is truly all about... Hope that today will be filled with wonders and that we never forget the awesome power of Love... we need to share our gratitude with our friends and ensure that we tell our loved ones how much they mean to us while they're still here... while we can still hold them in our arms... spread a little joy to those around you and feel Blessed that you are among so many wonderful people... I love you all!