Somehow I thought today would be mostly us in tears... that the kids wouldn't want to go to school or I would get a phone call from their teachers that they were bawling and wanted to come home... Jack had a great day and was rambling on about what they learned in class and Hannah didn't even notice... it wasn't until I pointed out what the date was that she realized that it's the anniversary of his death... I had already decided that we were going to dinner, make some pictures and write some letters to float up to Heaven in balloons, and make a wish and a prayer on a candle that Chris was safe in Heaven...

I think I missed him more because I have greater awareness of how and when he died... I couldn't allow this date to go unnoticed by the kids because as they grow they need to have some connection to him... but as I was the only one who shed any tears I feel more confident that the choices I have made over this past year have been the right ones... the kids both seem fairly healthy... or at least as healthy as they can be with how our life is now... the only wish that Hannah has is that I get married at some point so we can have someone else living in the house with us... they just need more positive male role models in their lives... maybe some day I'll meet the right man who can fill such a tall order but for now we have reached the final milestone of the first year... we have come through stronger and happier... and we did it with the support of all of you... you'll never fully know how much we appreciate all of the love and kindness we've been shown... *hugs*