I knew that tonight someone would be bringing the kids' things over from their Dad's house... I knew that I would have to check off the items, ensure the inventory list was complete, and sign so there would be proof that the items were received... what I did not know is that another wave would crash over me and leave me a crying mess... I was not expecting to react so strongly to how everything smelled... it's a mix a soapy-citrus and cigarette smoke... it had always been one that I couldn't stand smelling on the kids when they came back from his house... I'm so sensitive to the odors because of my allergies so I would make the kids put their clothes in the wash and toss them in the tub... now I'm not sure if I'll be able to wash that smell away because it's one last connection they will have with their Daddy... it also makes me realize how much I still miss him and though I may be able to get through a day without getting upset, I will always have a piece of my heart missing...