I truly thought I was doing better... I got through yesterday without crying and thought that each day would get a little bit easier... with it being Sunday, I felt it was best to get back into our routine and go back to church... I normally teach Sunday School for the 4 year olds during the 10:15 service and attend the 11:30 service because I enjoy the singing... it's not the old hymns that the older generations are accustomed to, it's the contemporary music that makes it feel like girls choir... sing as loud as you like just as long as you sing... I could feel myself getting choked up a bit as I saw some of my friends that have called or sent along their well wishes but had not actually seen... there were the hugs and condolences that are to be expected and a few of my friends who wanted to fill me in on a few things that will be coming our way as everyone will be dropping off meals and groceries to our house for the near future... I needed to be in the sanctuary and get back to my safe harbor... the same place that held me as I was newly divorced was now also my refuge for yet another new stage of my life... I expected to hear some uplifting sermon, sing a few songs, and get out of there in my usual manner as I picked up the kids from each of their classes... what I did not expect was the river of tears that gently rolled from my eyes as I sang each song... I did not expect to be crying silently for the pain that I have been feeling and holding inside... I did not think it was possible for the human body to shed as much liquid as I have over these past 10 days and still have more to give... I know this grieving process is going to take much longer than 10 days but I still hope every morning that this will be a day that can be normal...