How many times do you mindlessly walk past people or wave at your friends and really wonder what's going on in their lives? Do you truly know their hearts and their heartaches? We are all there for the happy times when we gather for Christmas and 4th of July but are we present when they're sad or angry? These last 10 days have opened my eyes to the people I have in my life and I know who cares simply because they have put their arms around me, have prayed for me, emailed, called, and sometimes just sat with me while I try to find the words for my grief... how many times have we stopped to really listen with loving hearts and have asked our friends what we can do for them or just put a card in the mail to let them know they've been on our minds? How many times have we been kind to total strangers and have just smiled at them? My uncle took me out for dinner the other night so I could be away from everyone and talk about whatever I needed to get out but on our way out of the restaurant he stopped by the table behind us and asked whose birthday it was... all we could hear from our table was them singing "Happy Birthday" but because of the way the tables were set up we couldn't see who the guest of honor was... so he stopped and asked and then handed the birthday guy a gold dollar... not a huge amount but a small token to help celebrate a birthday of a total stranger as we were leaving... I doubt we'll ever see those people again but I do know that it made him smile to have his special day acknowledged... something I used to tell the girls who worked for me when I was a manager at a children's clothing store is to be kind to every person that came in and treat them like they are your honored guest... I knew firsthand that stay-at-home moms go shopping not usually just to spend money to justify their existence, but went out for the adult interaction that you cannot get when you are trapped in a house with small children... I'm not saying there's anything wrong with staying at home to raise your children and that it's a very rewarding opportunity if you can afford to do so, but what I do know is it's hard to get validation from a husband who works long hours and is too tired to contribute and it's hard to get into a playgroup unless you already know someone who has kids the same age... so these women are out there looking for simple validation that they are alive and have worth... that's all any of us are looking for... validation that we are worthy to be loved and that our lives have value... I guess Chris never could see his own worth and it saddens me that he didn't see what I saw in his heart... but the silver lining in all of this is I see the good and the love that are in those who have surrounded me and that I still have the capacity to be good and loving... this experience will not diminish my abilities to be the friend that I have always been nor will it harden my heart to the Love that is out there...